I will be this week's host of the Tuesday Show. I first met Adam when I was 12. We both grew up in west Glen Burnie. I had been expelled from school and Adam's parents couldn't afford to send him. As fate would have it, we both ended up at Arthur Slade Day Care, Monday through Friday, 7AM to 3:30PM. Along with our friend Karl, Adam and I made the most of our time together. We played Mario Brothers, sang hymns and Mr. Joshua taught us to climb trees. In the spring of 1994, upon having enrolled in high school, we helped remodel the Fabulous Whispers Restaurant and Lounge as our "last hurrah." I'll never forget those times.
I had a hard time choosing today's topic. Don't get me wrong. There's a lot of good stuff left to explore. Its just that I have to dedicate some time to actually exploring it. Its gonna be hard for me to say anything substantial about art. I can say that I love sleeveface a lot, but i don't know that I have a thousand words on it. These books are probably pretty long. These movies...shorter, but long. TV is somewhere between books and movies. I don't want to talk music two weeks in a row. I have to wait for the "right moment" to talk about food. And I don't want to talk about my own recommendations.
Which only really leaves "be curious" from Heather Van De Mark's list. Heather's list included far more intangibles than everyone else's. Its like a poor man's Mastercard commercial. I'm declaring the latter half of her list to be my go-to whenever I'm stumped on something to talk about.
Be Curious. What does it all mean?
To me, it means that I'm supposed to spy on people. But in a flattering, non-threatening, lovable way. I'm going to now go through everyone who's done one of these things and list one or two "interesting" tidbits about them that I found by digging deep into the internets. I'm not about to embarrass anyone. Its just that sometimes, we can all be shy. We might be proud of something, but we don't want to tell others about it, because either you think its silly or you don't want to come off as a showboat, or, in some cases, you might just be too dead. So, I'm going to let everyone know your little secrets for you. You can thank me later.
Let's meet some people.
- Adam Hopkins - Adam really hopes to ride the "Big O" in Montreal sometime soon and he's got a dog that loves to eat flies. Skateboarding doesn't owe him anything.
- Timothy Huff - Unfortunately, Timothy passed away on October 16th, 2008. I wish he had stuck around long enough to see this.
- Cory Palmer - Cory has a BA in Japanese, but now is unsure how "real worldy" such a degree is.
- Eric Hopkins - Eric is a great artist and an island child. As his work develops, he need to spend more time in the air looking for the answers he was looking for as an island child. How does man fit into the natural world? He finds them as he move through the deep flat space of his paintings.
- Jessica Matthews - Jessica told her eighth grade teacher that she wanted to write a book someday, but that day didn't come until some 20-odd years later when her youngest child was born. She tracked down said teacher and told her, "Sit on it, bitch."
- Matt Smiley - Matt used to get frisky with some other dude on MTV.
- Heather Van De Mark - This is not Heather's real name. The real Heather [Van Den Berg] finished in 177th when she participated in the Skunk Cabbage Classic Half Marathon. Congratulations, Heather!
- Todd Hargest - When still living in the old country, Todd's surname was "Swanson." Like many immigrants, upon his arrival to the United States, Todd changed it to the more Americanized "Hargest," a shout out to his high school, James Hargest College, where he was known for hurdling goalies.
- Michael Ward - In 2005, Michael was inducted into the "Ultime Combat de Clips" Hall of Fame, for his goofy cover version of the "Final Countdown."
- Christopher Myers -I have married Kyle Minor twice, but only once while wearing my good luck kilt. Knock on wood.
- George French - Even after retiring on February 1st from the Telegram and Gazette, George is still remembered as being true to his word, having never succumbing to "Byline Fever."
- Chris Laun - Chris is busy writing a Paul Simon parody song called "50 Ways To Maximize Your Brain Fitness." He's got all the ways down, but he's having a tough time figuring out rhyming names. He's currently stuck on "Make some blueberry pancakes, xxxxxxxxx." Good luck, Chris!
- Mike Gittings - Mike and the neighborhood kids are possibly the most boring bike riders ever.
- Ricky B - Ricky does not like to be forced to eat bread and salad, especially when he's on a budget. He's recently discovered shirts.
- Megan Rogers - Megan is growing up too quickly!
6 comments:
great post! i have a lot of comments, that for the sake of brevity (or seeming brevity) i will condense into one comment:
that mastercard commercial is hilarious. hil-a-rious.
strangely, that skunk cabbage marathon thing, was run in Ithaca--my hometown. i knew a lot of names on that list. i may have to investigate into this vanderberg.
jake rhymes with pancake!!!
and rip t. huff. that bobcat never should have mauled 80% of your body. "He recently discovered a newborn passion for children of the Dominican Republic..." HA!
Fuck Salad and Bread. Viva variety! Hooray for the blog.
"Alkstscr"
this one is really something.
Amazingly, that bike video was funnier than Final Countdown. Things looked like they were really picking up around the 58 or 59 second mark. I'd say that bike video is "flizi"
Having just rewatched Dr. Strangelove the other night, I was able to finish that rhyme as "Make some blueberry pancakes, Mandrake."
you should probably work on your detective skills.
Post a Comment